Communication following divorce is difficult in all aspects. The way you communicate with your ex and your child can both affect the adjustment and happiness for everyone. Things are likely to get lost in translation from time to time and if your child has told you something that you want to know more about, try not to assume that you have an accurate understanding just yet. It is not uncommon for children to take comments they overhear out of context. You may feel that something was meant a certain way when in fact the information was distorted. If your child tells you something, try not to over-react as this may lead to your child ending the conversation in fear that you might be angry. Also, consider listening without interrogating and try not jump to conclusions. What you have been told may not be accurate. Lastly, consider waiting before responding, or even better, inquire with your co-parent before making up your mind.
Once you feel like you have the whole story, ask your co-parent about what you heard. This is best when done in a non-confrontational manner. Jumping right into an argument might cause the other parent to feel defensive or lie about what happened. Also, it might be a good idea to have this conversation when your child is not around. It is important that they do not witness any conflict and you also do not want to put them in the middle. If your child is present when you and the other parent are attempting to communicate and it begins to deteriorate. Stop the communication and remove yourself (and your child) from the conversation. Let the other parent know that you will continue the conversation at another time. For more information about communicating over the things you hear from your child post divorce, click here.
Communication is necessary to the well being of your child, and an open relationship is a great way to accomplish this. For help obtaining the best possible divorce and custody outcome, click here to contact a family attorney in Vancouver WA who wants what is best for you and your family.