If you have ever experienced love, you understand how powerful it is. Regardless of what other forces attempt to drive you apart, love is very strong. No one can talk you out of it or get you to see it differently. Some people in love even overlook flaws of their partner and see only the good in them.
Confirmation bias is the tendency we have as humans to seek, interpret, and record the information that confirms our preconceptions. Emotions tend to drive our beliefs instead of fact, which might lead to ignorance.
The opposite of that also will occur sometimes. When we hold a negative belief about another person, we are more likely to notice those flaws and miss the positives. In a conflicted divorce, adults sometimes feel the need to protect themselves. As a result, they might become protective over their negative beliefs about their co-parent. When we lock in
to our negative beliefs, we may use terms like “always” and “never.” When this happens, they may not be able to notice when their ex-spouse is being reasonable.
There are four things you can do to combat confirmation bias:
- Determine and acknowledge exactly what your actual negative beliefs about them are
- Then commit to removing the terms Always and Never from your vocabulary
- Make an effort to watch for the positives about your ex
- Try to encourage a continuation of this behavior by letting them know you notice it
These four steps can help you make the appropriate efforts to not allow confirmation bias to control your life. This may also help your child reduce the stress of having to be in the middle. To read more about confirmation bias and how to prevent it, click here.
If you need help getting through this difficult time, click here to read about your Vancouver WA Divorce Attorney today. Click here to contact Lambert Law Office.