As your child enters adolescence, they will sometimes begin to focus on their own needs. This can be a difficult situation for parents to face. Relationships with their peers may take precedence over the desire to spend time with their parents or family. Variables such as their cell phones, electronics, or Facebook, are all factors of independence. Teenagers often become extremely attached to these things as a way to enter this phase. As the relationship becomes a bit more unbalanced, parents sometimes begin to feel used and unappreciated. Your sweet baby, who used to consider you their entire world, now wants very little to do with you.
The process can be complicated if there was a divorce and now there are two residences involved. The relationship between teenagers and their parents can in some cases become strained, especially if the teenager is beginning to desire spending their time with one parent over the other.
A teenager may want to reside where there are differences in values, responsibilities, expectations and limits. This may make co-parents feel like they are competing with each other. Once realized, one parent may resort to the use bribery or promise of a more lax home environment in order to make the teen want to stay at their house.
If your teen wanting to change residence is due to conflict between the two of you, taking part in joint sessions with a therapist may help the relationship grow.
Here are some tips for managing your feelings during this difficult time:
- Try not to take it personally.
- Fight the urge to react if your teen only claims they want to live with the other parent when they are angry.
- Consider picking your battles with your teen.
- Try not to play the victim.
There may be conflict and confusion now, but this too will pass. This fight for independence is part of growing up. For more information about living arrangement during adolescence, click here to read more on the Cooperative Parenting Blog.
Click here to contact Lambert Law Office, your trusted Vancouver WA Family Law Attorney.